as i’m writing this, i should’ve already arrived in melbourne, inspect my apartment to be, look at some furnitures and trod along to sign my lease agreement in the arvo. but guess what? i missed my flight!

i woke up at 6.22am when chris called (we both slept through our alarms!!) when it hit me that i should very well be boarding my flight NOW (which was bound to leave at 6.30am). after a few minutes of “oh no!”, “how?”, “what shld i do now?”, and frantically searching for the next flight which costs at least $300. my thoughts were cluttered, i was panicking, it pretty much stayed that way for about 15-20minutes.

i finally calmed down. chris just sat me down (as in sat my mind down), and say think about it. what are the odds of both of us sleeping through our multiple alarms (note the keyword is both, cos i am so very capable of sleeping through mine)? it is probably God’s way of protecting us. we both pretty much had a long week. i was already not feeling too well. we could’ve been in an accident, something could’ve happened in that flight, or just simply, i could’ve fall sick, again!

but it didn’t keep me from feeling disappointed, i had everything planned out, gonna meet weilin, finally got our accomodation stuffs looking somewhat concrete, had all these plans to meet up with people, maybe even squeeze in some time for shopping, and most importantly “me time”. Just me & my book, me & my journal, while i wait for the overnight flight at the airport later at night..

but God reminded me of what’s important. it’s so like Him to always do that. to refocus. and it helps when i have a God-fearing boyfriend who gives me wise advice as well. refocus. so i refocused. i just thought about the place, how it’s actually quite pricey. unfurnished. and there was another option that popped up which was a cheaper and more convenient alternative, but without confirmation. yesterday, i didnt care, yesterday i just wanted a place to stay, yesterday i was desperate. but today, God reminded me of what i initially prayed for. it has to be a home, it has to be safe, a place where people come and be blessed, it has to be a place that both weilin and i are comfortable and at peace with, it has to be the ONE that God had prepared for us.

i called wei lin, to “break” the news to her. we had a good chat. and we agreed that there was no point rushing it. i could’ve still catch the later flight to go straight for the contract signing without inspecting the place beforehand, but it didn’t seem right. so i called up the property manager, and told her what had happened. i expected the “cold shoulder” for not turning up, for missing the appointment, but she was really nice about it, which was a pleasant surprise. i withdrew from our application. the strange thing was, i didnt feel disappointed or sad. i felt peace. if this apartment was meant to be ours, it will still be in 1 weeks time, when i actually move down to Melb. so. yea.

what an eventful morning! but in all things, i choose to praise Him, for the One who knows, and who directs. i trust that He is more concerned about my accommodation than i am.

so yea, i may be $200 poorer (if i did go to melb i’d probably be a lot poorer from all the ’shopping’), haha.. but i am so glad i serve a God who knows what He is doing.

so i’ve started round one (of possibly many rounds) of packing. and it’s CRAZY how much stuffs i’ve accumulated in 2 years and 9 months -_-” how did these stuffs fit into my tiny little room?! maybe it’s because there’s stuff in every nook and cranny in my room LOL. so i’ve realized many things too..

you’ll probably see me adding to the list as i go on with this “operasi packing”!

1) i’ve got EIGHT (yes different colours of hangers of different shapes and sizes. no wonder my wardrobe looks “messy”

2) while packing, i came up with a list of 8 people i can think of, whose stuffs i still have with me because i always forget to give it back to them. if you’re one of them reading this, i’m sorry!!!! i will return them to you by this week. promise! *scouts honor* and pls pls don’t be angry k? and probably a whole heap of my stuffs are with other people too. if there’s anything i need improvement with, is in this area of keeping tab.

3) i just realize that i have to pack for 3 different places! because i’ll be going home, then to UK and then Melb.. all with different climates!!! what?!! so i can’t just chuck everything into bags and boxes and am DONE! i actually have to pick out my winter wear, from my summer wear, and some comfy wear to bring back home! anyway, to solve my “problem”, i’ve done something quite clever, if i do say so myself (haha), that is to create categories of boxes *pat myself on the back* except.. the problem is, my room looks like a MESS now with all those boxes lying around. *sigh*

4) i found some really UGLY clothes that made me wonder why i bought them in the first place, maybe cos they were cheap and on sale (note to self, don’t buy stuffs that you won’t wear, even if they cost $1!!!!). i’ve also packed away at least 2 bags of clothes and shoes that i want to give away, not because they’re crap, but either because they are too small, or too big (and again, note to self, don’t buy sizes that don’t fit you even if they were on 70% discount!!!!). also, i found that my favourite shirt and skirt has a hole in each of them sigh. which makes me feel so poor, especially when i attempted to sew them together, and they end up looking like patchwork! i REALLY need to practice my sewing skills.

so that’s my packing saga so far. stay tuned for more updates.

anyway, while moving on, and moving to melbourne and what God has in store is exciting, the reality of moving and finding a place to settle down and all that jazz is pretty daunting. i just want the whole process to be a smooth transition, so that i’ll start work in peace! while it’s probably natural to worry, phil 4:6-7 says be anxious for nothing! but in prayer and thanksgiving present my request to Him who is able to grant me the peace that transcends all understanding and reason. and I THANK GOD  for where He has placed us, and I ASK that He will favour and direct the path that we take as we step by step get our visa, medical registration, special leave, and accomodation done in preparation for the start of our careers as doctors!

count down. 7 weeks!

so it’s been a bit of a funny week – funny because of me. one day it was my shower tap falling off. yes, it did. laugh! and the next it was me struggling, trying to pull a door (which was glass and everyone could see me from the inside), when it was meant to be pushed (and i’ve opened that door umpteen times too!!).

this is amongst the many times that i’ve “shrieked” because i “thought” i lost my phone/wallet/pager/swipe card etc. giving everyone a heart attack.

lol. ok i’m giving everyone a picture of how ditzy and klutzy i am. sigh.

anyhoooo.. my purpose of writing this is, it’s my last week in gen med! woots!! no, don’t get me wrong, it’s not that i don’t like gen med, it’s just that 6 weeks is just a bit TOO long for me. all that travelling too. but having said that, it’s been an awesome learning experience, it’s just good refreshing my memory (albeit a very RUSTY one), and learning all the practical things, and of course being a part of a great team! and my respect for physicians has just gone up another notch too. such thinking and smart people!! the downside is, the long ward rounds and long hours. i reckon i’ve lost a few pounds just walking around the Lyell a few times a day. not to mention walking from the car to the hospital!! (ahhhh you knowwww they changed my perfect parking to a 1P parking just like they did at the QEH. *sobs*)

as i am typing, my stomach’s having a little protest now for some reason.

and so it’s been a very FULL-ON rotation! where reality hits me in the face, and gives me a glimpse of how next year will be. wahhhhhhh.. so it’s been quite tiring, i admit. but today, oh today! we had lifegroup, and it was just a time of soaking in His presence. i’m all drippy now. *drip drip* really refreshed just from the pre-LG prayer, and it only got better. from worship to devotions and then to the word, the GAME (cue to laugh HA HA HA) and to the food/fellowship, i’m so happy and proud of my lifegroupies. *happy sigh* it’s amazing how daddy G works sometimes..

2 more days to the weekend!! will be getting my assessment done either tmr or friday. a bit jittery but i speak favour and blessing into my assessment AMEN!

hello world! it’s been awhile hey? no fun being sick, at all! this time around i was hit real hard.. but you know, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise! cos while i’m on the bed most times, drifting in and out of sleep, in betweens, i’ve been doing a lot of reading.. read the bible, and even had some time to study! which was something that i haven’t really had the luxury of doing for a long time given my recent schedule. also listened to heaps of sermons, and devotions online, it’s like catch up TV! teehee.. and i’ve been so blessed! not only was a recuperating physically, i was fed spiritually as well.

throughout this period of time, i was constantly reminded to look to God and put my focus on Him, and He will watch my back. Ps Prince’s message on the 4 Horsemen was so powerful. i’d really recommend everyone to have a listen to it where possible. I was really encouraged to be immersed in the fullness of Jesus, that people around will have no choice but to respect and be in awe of Him. And devotions has also been challenging me in the area of faith. about being specific about what i want. about contending with God until i get it! and one area that has been hovering in my mind is my future home in Melbourne! not only i’ve been thinking about it all week, but this morning during pre-service prayer, God just reminded me to not settle for any house, but i must believe for a home, specifically with all the criterias i have in mind. i’m really excited!!

it was so good to be back in church today! i really miss being in church, and being in the presence of His people. i really miss my lifegroup members. i’m so proud of my leaders for taking good care of them while i was away recovering. you guys are awesome!!! *hugs* but i don’t know how to put it in words. it just feels good to be back. and back healthY! it shows in my face. everyone said i looked heaps better. i feel better too!!!!! thank You Jesus!!!!!

being sick was a humbling time for me. there were times when i felt really helpless, and wished i was bck home and pampered!! this time around i was honestly quite afraid that it was more than the usual cold cos i’ve never felt so weak before, and at times i couldn’t breathe. but throughout my periods of ’self-pity’ and ‘fear’, God’s presence was there for me, holding and supporting me one step at a time. i was ‘forced’ to rest and to depend on Him. God had also made me realise what a workaholic i have been. the moment i felt slightly better, i was trying to get things done, and He was just saying, no.. REST! rest in Me. i guess it’s also been a time of prioritising efficiency. i have been doing too many things, most of it good things, but i just felt reminded that i should learn how to prioritise rest as well. i’ve never been a believer of just doing for the sake of doing, but i guess it’s easy to get carried away at times. must always re-evaluate myself once in a while

lastly, it is also during this time that i see His grace. His favour. His love. and i just can’t get enough of my daddy! I love you daddy. I just feel soooo PUMP-ed!

Starting 21 days of fasting and prayer this tomorrow. i can’t wait to see what GREAT things He has in store. oh oh… Don’t forget all Malaysians out there…

Fast for the Nation, Peace for Malaysia 2009

Wednesday, 16 September 2009, 0520-1925

Let us be united in one single action. Let us all fast from dawn to dusk for peace in this blessed land. Let the Muslims amongst us fast with a specific prayer for peace for the nation. Let the Bahais, Buddhists, Christians, Hindus, Sikhs, Taoists, followers of other spiritual traditions and atheists amongst us fast in solidarity and the same determination for peace.

Let our common experience of hunger and human weakness humble, strengthen and unite us.

Let us offer a hospitable smile to people we know and especially to those we don’t.

Let us perform one extra act of kindness while fasting on this Malaysia day.

Let us show our love and compassion for each other.

Let Malaysia be a better country on her 52nd birthday and every day after.

Let Malaysia be truly happy and peaceful this September 16.

And so we fast.
. . . . . . to make room for justice and peace!

I succumbed and called in sick today.. I think my body is telling me to rest. Nonetheless, I can still type a Happy Birthday note to my beloved country hey!

If you don’t know, I only started pledging my ‘allegiance’ to Malaysia after I went over to Singapore to study. Evelynn would know I was one of those, who dreams and aspires to study overseas, since a tender age. I guess God knew the plans He had for me, He sent me to a nearer place first. It was in Singapore that my love for Malaysia sparked. The “want” to make a change, to go back and serve the country. In fact that changed me so much that I thought of finishing up my whole medical course back home! Even though I’m miles away from home now, my heart still lies in my “Tanah air”; although it’s not perfect, it’s home. What an honour it is to be a Malaysian!

I am believing for a change. Many will think it’s wishful thinking, but I just want to share this song with you.

Tear down the walls

Tear down the walls

See the world

Is there something we have missed?

Turn from ourselves

Look beyond

There is so much more than this

I don’t have to see it to believe it

I don’t have to see it to believe it

Cause I can’t shake this fire deep inside my heart

Look to the skies

Hope arise

See His majesty revealed

More than this life

There is love

There is hope and this is real

I don’t have to see it to believe it

I don’t have to see it to believe it

Cause I can’t shake this fire burning deep inside my heart

This life is Yours

and hope is rising as Your glory floods our hearts

Let love tear down these walls

That all creation will come back to You

it’s all for You

Your name is glorious, glorious

Your love is changing us, calling us

To worship in Spirit and in truth

As all creation returns to You

Are you believing? Well, change starts with us. As Malaysia celebrates its 52nd birthday, I pray unity, for where there is unity, there God commands a blessing. Amen.

Happy Independence Malaysia!

Malachi 3:12

Then all the nations will call you (MALAYSIA) blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the LORD Almighty.

who anticipates midweek anyway? well, not usually. today is SPECIAL! and definitely worth blogging about..

1) multiplication of the Village LG. what an amazing privilege it was for chris and i to be entrusted with the lives of these students. you guys are a great bunch! thank you, you and YOU for being a part of this family, and making it a joyful experience for the both of us. while a part of me will always miss the big group gatherings, but i’m excited at what’s in store for the TWO lifegroups in the semester to come. chris shared an amazing word on multiplication..

a)it is in God’s nature to multiply,

b)it IS God who multiplies!,

c) He determines the timing when multiplication occurs,

d) we should remember God for what He has done (ie. multiplication) even after it has been done.

and i couldn’t agree more! do you realize, that we actually don’t have to “do” anything except respond? God IS and God WILL.. who says being a Christian is hard? sometimes we try too hard, when actually it’s already been done for us. it’ll be a new phase for chris & i too, cos this time, we’ll each lead one group..! thank You daddy for 1.5 yrs of faithfulness, with more to come

p/s: check out the video on facebook by weifen.

2) i have completed both my ICU and ED presentation, and both went well so i’m really glad which officially marks the end of my ED/ICU term. woohoo!! ED was surprisingly good, minus the shift work, and long hours. i’m really thankful for the wonderful ppl in the team that has been so gracious with sharing their knowledge.. thinking bck, i actually DID fulfill my learning objectives that i had written out – making referrals (failing miserably on my first 2 attempts, but it got better), SUTURING! and management of common presentations. so i’m a happy cookie. i wish i had the chance to do resuscitation (not that i want my patients to go into arrest) but i wouldn’t want to be caught by surprise when it DOES happen. and i saw an open compound fracture!! which i didnt even get to see during my orthopaedics term.. well, now i understand why ortho is usually a boy’s club. you literally need BRUTE strength. no kidding. anyway, again, the bottomline is, I’m DONE! woohoo.. now, i can FINALLY run my errands. haven’t had the chance to go to the post office, banks, grocery shopping lately, cos they are always CLOSED by the time i finish

So many reasons to come into Your presence

So many reasons to lift my voice in praise

A million thank yous

Would hardly scratch the surface

After all You’ve done for me I’m still amazed

Just because You’re God

Just because You’re holy

Just because You are, is why I’m here to worship

Not for what You give

Not for what I feel

Just because You’re God 

I worship You.

Ps Daniel Thornton

Music Director, Paradise Community Church

This song suddenly came into my head. I have a reason to worship Him, just because! And (since this has been in my draft a few days..) we sang it in church today as well. I really love the lyrics because it says exactly what I want to say! And God deserves my worship for who He is to me.

Just reading through my previous posts leading up to our internship offer, all I can say is God will never fail to amaze me, how He has consistently walked this journey with me, with us. It is so amazing that there can be no other way besides God! From KL to JB to Singapore to IMU to Adelaide and now our internship offers (and meeting Chris along the way)… GOSH! I don’t believe in luck, or chance, but I believe in grace and favour and that He is looking out for me, steering me to become the person He wants me to be. Because of that, I have nothing to fear, knowing that my future is secure in His hands.. It doesn’t mean that I’ve been having it easy, it means that I have strength from above to see me through each circumstance, it means I need to put my faith in the One even though it may seem “silly” to make bold decisions that seemed impossible, it means I will still choose to worship Him no matter what it costs.

Will you worship Him just because?

today’s sermon was about praise. and one of the challenges posed was for us to praise, even before something happens. praise God for the miracle that is about to happen! so here, at this very hour, i choose to praise and believe that my ED/ICU (emergency and intensive care) rotation will be awesome possum.. that my team will find favour in me.. and that i will learn heaps out of this! also, we (chris & i) choose to praise and believe in advance for our internship positions next year. because faith is. faith IS! the present. the now. substance. hope. unseen. unheard. i don’t have to see it to believe it. i just have to believe. *pumped*

new semester. exciting. all too exciting *beams*

daddy God, into your hands, i commit again. because each time i do, you see me through (hey it ryhmes too )..

i like smiles

i like encouraging words

i like ‘just because’ smses

i like ‘out of the blue’ calls

i like NICE people!

i even like psych…

and this 2 weeks i have been blessed with nice people around me

Daddy God is good to me.

Are You Amazed?

Every now and again, we need to be reminded of His amazing grace.. When Ps Allan Meyer spoke about the origin of life and said when we look around us and be amazed at creation, we should be more amazed at our Creator.