well, i guess i’ve been getting a lot of questions lately abt why i get sick so often? i wonder if it’s a question that i can answer myself? i guess being busy, having lots to do, and getting stressed out with situations you can’t control or change adds to it. and sometimes, self-inflicted pain also contributes to you not being a 100%.
i must say, the first 6 weeks back, was like. full on. full stop. and i remember having all my reflux and gastritis, and had to take a whole month’s worth of proton pump inhibitors (to decrease the acidity of my stomach). and again it’s “self-inflicted” in a way, cos i’ve not had a chance to have proper meals, timely meals etc because of my erratic timetable. after that season had passed, i thought i needed another course, cos the pain just kept coming bck. but instead of that, i prayed. and i didn’t need the tablets. which was a good thing! the pain just left without me even realizing it..
recently, my other “self-inflicted” sickness is a result of not having enough sleep, because of all the things that has been happening, unexpected departures (that affected me more than i thought it would..), starting early, ending late (and seeing many patients with coughs and colds in between), juggling a research project and all my other commitments.. plus, trying to fit work out in. which resulted in me over stretching myself. i ended up with a sore throat and a fever over the weekend. and a very sore thigh. i initially expected it to just “pass”. but it didn’t. it was so painful that walking was difficult, and going up & down stairs was also very difficult. not being able to eat (my idea of enjoyment) was sad. it was embarassing really. and most of all, i kinda caused it. eh?
and when you feel like you’ve caused it, (especially in the case of my thighs), i never thought of praying for God to take the pain away. cos well, it was self inflicted right. i deserved it! geez. but as the days passed, the pain was really excruciating. like i can’t even sleep properly. and when i’m awake, i just try to minimize the pain in front of other ppl cos it’s SO EMBARASSING la to be in pain as a result of going to the gym -_-”
then i really felt the Holy Spirit saying to me ask for healing. but but but, it’s such a silly reason! He reminded me about Ps Prince’s message that says, “when you’re sick and you’re in pain, who are you thinking of? YOURSELF! God wants you well so that you can think of other people.” that’s so true!!! haih. regardless of HOW you ended up with that pain, silly or not, God wants to see me whole. and so pray i did.
and since yesterday evening, i was able to walk normally. and today i am able to go up & down the stairs without hanging on to the rail like my life depended on it.
moral of the story is. regardless of whether the pain is “caused by you” or not.. God still wants to heal you. and help you. if only you’d ask.. i guess it applies to every area of our lives as well. sometimes we don’t ask God for forgiveness, or to take the pain away, because we feel like we deserve it. or it’s almost like we MUST go through it, experience the pain, so that we feel less guilty, or feel like we’ve contributed and paid back what we “owe”. the message is this: God has paid for everything. His grace beyond reason, has given us the freedom. Without us having to “pay”. illogical. but true.. why take the hard way, when God offers us the easy way out?
